I did not want to understand at that time that such a marriage was natural on the part of a young, healthy, and beautiful girl.

But, alas! we all forget our natural science when we are deceived by the woman we love--may this little jest be forgiven me! At the present time Mme.

N.is a happy and respected mother, and this proves better than anything else how wise and entirely in accordance with the demands of nature and life was her marriage at that time, which vexed me so painfully.
I must confess, however, that at that time I was not at all calm.

Her exceedingly amiable and kind letter in which she notified me of her marriage, expressing profound regret that changed circumstances and a suddenly awakened love compelled her to break her promise to me--that amiable, truthful letter, scented with perfume, bearing the traces of her tender fingers, seemed to me a message from the devil himself.
The letters of fire burned my exhausted brains, and in a wild ecstasy I shook the doors of my cell and called violently: "Come! Let me look into your lying eyes! Let me hear your lying voice! Let me but touch with my fingers your tender throat and pour into your death rattle my last bitter laugh!" From this quotation my indulgent reader will see how right were the judges who convicted me for murder; they had really foreseen in me a murderer.
My gloomy view of life at the time was aggravated by several other events.

Two years after the marriage of my fiancee, consequently three years after the first day of my imprisonment, my mother died--she died, as I learned, of profound grief for me.