Then I produced a very interesting and instructive work; having set aside entirely the question of truth and falsehood on general principles, I subjected the facts and the words to numerous combinations, erecting structures, even as small children build various structures with their wooden blocks; and after persistent efforts I finally succeeded in finding a certain combination of facts which, though strong in principle, seemed so plausible that my actual innocence became perfectly clear, exactly and positively established.
To this day I remember the great feeling of astonishment, mingled with fear, which I experienced at my strange and unexpected discovery; by telling the truth I lead people into error and thus deceive them, while by maintaining falsehood I lead them, on the contrary, to the truth and to knowledge.
I did not yet understand at that time that, like Newton and his famous apple, I discovered unexpectedly the great law upon which the entire history of human thought rests, which seeks not the truth, but verisimilitude, the appearance of truth--that is, the harmony between that which is seen and that which is conceived, based on the strict laws of logical reasoning.

And instead of rejoicing, I exclaimed in an outburst of naive, juvenile despair: "Where, then, is the truth?
Where is the truth in this world of phantoms and falsehood ?" (See my "Diary of a Prisoner" of June 29, 18--.) I know that at the present time, when I have but five or six more years to live, I could easily secure my pardon if I but asked for it.

But aside from my being accustomed to the prison and for several other important reasons, of which I shall speak later, I simply have no right to ask for pardon, and thus break the force and natural course of the lawful and entirely justified verdict.

Nor would I want to hear people apply to me the words, "a victim of judicial error," as some of my gentle visitors expressed themselves, to my sorrow.

I repeat, there was no error, nor could there be any error in a case in which a combination of definite circumstances inevitably lead a normally constructed and developed mind to the one and only conclusion.
I was convicted justly, although I did not commit the crime--such is the simple and clear truth, and I live joyously and peacefully my last few years on earth with a sense of respect for this truth.
The only purpose by which I was guided in writing these modest notes is to show to my indulgent reader that under the most painful conditions, where it would seem that there remains no room for hope or life--a human being, a being of the highest order, possessing a mind and a will, finds both hope and life.