Indeed, at that moment I could have welcomed it gladly, since to me it meant the perfect rest of oblivion.
So in the end I determined that I would leave this lighted house of Life and go out into the dark night, and at once.

Unhappy was it for me and for hundreds of other human beings that the decree of fate, or chance, brought my designs to nothing.
First I wrote a letter to be handed to the reporters at the inquest for publication in the newspapers, in which I told the true story of Lady Colford's case and denounced Bell as a villain whose perjury had driven me to self-murder.

After this I wrote a second letter, to be given to my daughter if she lived to come to years of discretion, setting out the facts that brought me to my end and asking her to pardon me for having left her.

This done it seemed that my worldly business was completed, so I set about leaving the world.
Going to a medicine chest I reflected a little.

Finally I decided on prussic acid; its after effects are unpleasant but its action is swift and certain.