[Phantastes by George MacDonald]@TWC D-Link book
Phantastes

CHAPTER XXV
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I have never yet discovered any inclination to either side.

And if I am not unfrequently sad, I yet cast no more of a shade on the earth, than most men who have lived in it as long as I.I have a strange feeling sometimes, that I am a ghost, sent into the world to minister to my fellow men, or, rather, to repair the wrongs I have already done.
May the world be brighter for me, at least in those portions of it, where my darkness falls not.
Thus I, who set out to find my Ideal, came back rejoicing that I had lost my Shadow.
When the thought of the blessedness I experienced, after my death in Fairy Land, is too high for me to lay hold upon it and hope in it, I often think of the wise woman in the cottage, and of her solemn assurance that she knew something too good to be told.

When I am oppressed by any sorrow or real perplexity, I often feel as if I had only left her cottage for a time, and would soon return out of the vision, into it again.

Sometimes, on such occasions, I find myself, unconsciously almost, looking about for the mystic mark of red, with the vague hope of entering her door, and being comforted by her wise tenderness.

I then console myself by saying: "I have come through the door of Dismay; and the way back from the world into which that has led me, is through my tomb.


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