What really saved me was the one remaining illusion--the PEOPLE.
The things I had fought for and burned my midnight oil for had failed me.
Success--I despised it.

Recognition--it was dead ashes.

Society, men and women above the ruck and the muck of the water-front and the forecastle--I was appalled by their unlovely mental mediocrity.

Love of woman--it was like all the rest.

Money--I could sleep in only one bed at a time, and of what worth was an income of a hundred porterhouses a day when I could eat only one?
Art, culture--in the face of the iron facts of biology such things were ridiculous, the exponents of such things only the more ridiculous.
From the foregoing it can be seen how very sick I was.