In brief, I lost my fine faiths in pretty well everything except humanity, and the humanity I retained faith in was a very stark humanity indeed.
This long sickness of pessimism is too well known to most of us to be detailed here.

Let it suffice to state that I had it very bad.

I meditated suicide coolly, as a Greek philosopher might.

My regret was that there were too many dependent directly upon me for food and shelter for me to quit living.

But that was sheer morality.