I knew mysterious and violent things.

I was from the other side of life so far as concerned the young men I encountered in the Y.M.C.A.

I spoke another language, possessed a sadder and more terrible wisdom.
(When I come to think it over, I realise now that I have never had a boyhood.) At any rate, the Y.M.C.A.

young men were too juvenile for me, too unsophisticated.

This I would not have minded, could they have met me and helped me mentally.