[Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome]@TWC D-Link book
Three Men in a Boat

CHAPTER X
7/13

At the end of five-and-thirty minutes, Harris said, "Ah!" and took his left leg out from under him and put his right one there instead.
Five minutes afterwards, George said, "Ah!" too, and threw his plate out on the bank; and, three minutes later than that, Montmorency gave the first sign of contentment he had exhibited since we had started, and rolled over on his side, and spread his legs out; and then I said, "Ah!" and bent my head back, and bumped it against one of the hoops, but I did not mind it.

I did not even swear.
How good one feels when one is full--how satisfied with ourselves and with the world! People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
One feels so forgiving and generous after a substantial and well-digested meal--so noble-minded, so kindly-hearted.
It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs.

We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so.
It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.

After eggs and bacon, it says, "Work!" After beefsteak and porter, it says, "Sleep!" After a cup of tea (two spoonsful for each cup, and don't let it stand more than three minutes), it says to the brain, "Now, rise, and show your strength.
Be eloquent, and deep, and tender; see, with a clear eye, into Nature and into life; spread your white wings of quivering thought, and soar, a god-like spirit, over the whirling world beneath you, up through long lanes of flaming stars to the gates of eternity!" After hot muffins, it says, "Be dull and soulless, like a beast of the field--a brainless animal, with listless eye, unlit by any ray of fancy, or of hope, or fear, or love, or life." And after brandy, taken in sufficient quantity, it says, "Now, come, fool, grin and tumble, that your fellow-men may laugh--drivel in folly, and splutter in senseless sounds, and show what a helpless ninny is poor man whose wit and will are drowned, like kittens, side by side, in half an inch of alcohol." We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach.

Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends; watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.


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