But with that you have nothing to do--not yet, anyhow.

Now, if I catch your meaning, your idea is to go back to your life at home.

In other words you want to live the last end of your life first--and without earning the right to it.
And because you cannot do this you give yourself up to criticising everything about you.

Getting only at the faults and missing all the finer things in life.

If you would permit me to advise you--" he still had his hand on the lad's knee, searching the soft brown eyes--"I would give up finding fault and first try to better things, and I would begin right here where you are.