She could not accept a 'perhaps' that cast dubiousness on her disinterested championship.

She protested a perfect certainty of the single aim of her heart outward.

But she reflected.

She discovered that her friend had gone ahead of her.
The discovery was reached, and even acknowledged, before she could persuade herself to swallow the repulsive truth.

O self! self! self! are we eternally masking in a domino that reveals your hideous old face when we could be most positive we had escaped you?
Eternally! the desolating answer knelled.