[Beauchamp’s Career by George Meredith]@TWC D-Link bookBeauchamp’s Career CHAPTER VIII 3/19
He proposed to go likewise.
She was mute.
After some discourse she contrived to say inoffensively that people who strolled into her churches for the music, or out of curiosity, played the barbarian. 'Well, I will not go,' said Nevil. 'But I do not wish to number you among them,' she said. 'Then,' said Nevil, 'I will go, for it cannot be barbarous to try to be with you.' 'No, that is wickedness,' said Renee. She was sensible that conversation betrayed her, and Nevil's apparently deliberate pursuit signified to her that he must be aware of his mastery, and she resented it, and stumbled into pitfalls whenever she opened her lips.
It seemed to be denied to them to utter what she meant, if indeed she had a meaning in speaking, save to hurt herself cruelly by wounding the man who had caught her in the toils: and so long as she could imagine that she was the only one hurt, she was the braver and the harsher for it; but at the sight of Nevil in pain her heart relented and shifted, and discovering it to be so weak as to be almost at his mercy, she defended it with an aggressive unkindness, for which, in charity to her sweeter nature, she had to ask his pardon, and then had to fib to give reasons for her conduct, and then to pretend to herself that her pride was humbled by him; a most humiliating round, constantly recurring; the worse for the reflection that she created it.
She attempted silence.
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