"Kilne," said he, "you're an honest man, and a neighbour, and I'll tell you what happened.

The Squire," he says, "likes my company, and I like his table.

Now the Squire 'd never do a dirty action, but the Squire's nephew, Mr.George Uplift, he can't forget that I earn my money, and once or twice I have had to correct him." And I'll wager Mel did it, too! Well, he goes on: "There was Admiral Sir Jackson Racial and his lady, at dinner, Squire Falco of Bursted, Lady Barrington, Admiral Combleman--our admiral, that was; 'Mr.This and That', I forget their names--and other ladies and gentlemen whose acquaintance I was not honoured with." You know his way of talking.

"And there was a goose on the table," he says; and, looking stern at me, "Don't laugh yet!" says he, like thunder.

"Well, he goes on: Mr.George caught my eye across the table, and said, so as not to be heard by his uncle, 'If that bird was rampant, you would see your own arms, Marquis.'" And Mel replied, quietly for him to hear, 'And as that bird is couchant, Mr.George, you had better look to your sauce.' Couchant means squatting, you know.
That's heraldry! Well, that wasn't bad sparring of Mel's.