[Sandra Belloni by George Meredith]@TWC D-Link bookSandra Belloni CHAPTER XXII 5/15
Could it have been that she was guilty of the immense folly, simply to escape from that piece of coarse earth, Mrs.Chump? Cornelia smiled sadly, saying: "Oh, no! I should not have committed a wickedness for so miserable an object." Despairing for a solution of the puzzle, she cried out, "I was mad!", and with a gasp of horror saw herself madly signing her name to perdition. "I was mad!" is a comfortable cloak to our sins in the past.
Mournful to think that we have been bereft of reason; but the fit is over, and we are not in Bedlam! Cornelia next wrestled with the pride of Mr.Barrett.Why had he not come to her once after reading the line pencilled in the book? Was it that he would make her his debtor in everything? He could have reproached her justly; why had he held aloof? She thirsted to be scourged by him, to hang her head ashamed under his glance, and hug the bitter pain he dealt her.
Revolving how the worst man on earth would have behaved to a girl partially in his power (hands had been permitted to be pressed, and the gateways of the eyes had stood open: all but vows had been interchanged), she came to regard Mr.Barrett as the best man on the earth.
That she alone saw it, did not depreciate the value of her knowledge.
A goal gloriously illumined blazed on her from the distance. "Too late!" she put a curb on the hot courses in her brain, and they being checked, turned all at once to tears and came in a flood.
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