I was changing, I knew that.

I dreaded to look into my own thoughts, from day to day.

Above all, I dreaded to sit down and write to him.

Oh, the hateful falsity of those letters--Yet what could I do, what could I do?
I had no right to give such a blow, unless I felt that anything else was utterly, utterly impossible." "And at last you did feel it ?" "In Switzerland--yes.

It came like a flash of lightning.