But the best joke of all was the son of a b--ch of a cornet, who had surrendered it in a cowardly manner, seeing it in my possession, demanded it from me in the front of the line.

"D--n my blood!" says he, "where did you find my standard ?" says he.

"D--n my blood!" said I, "where," said I, "did you lose it ?" said I."That's nothing to you," says he, "'tis my standard," says he" and by G--d I'll have it," says he.

"D--nation seize me," says I, "if you shall," says I, "till I have first delivered it to the general," says I; and accordingly I went to the headquarters after the battle, and delivered it to my Lord Stair, who promised to do for me.
But I am no more than a poor lieutenant still, d--n my blood." Having vented this repetition of expletives, the lawyer owned he had not been requited according to his deserts; observed that the labourer is always worthy of his hire, and asked if the promise was made before witnesses, because in that case the law would compel the general to perform it; but understanding that the promise was made over a bottle, without being restricted to time or terms, he pronounced it not valid in law, proceeded to inquire into the particulars of the battle, and affirmed that, although the English had drawn themselves into premunire at first, the French managed their cause so lamely in the course of the dispute, that they would have been utterly nonsuited, had they not obtained a nolli prosequi.

In spite of these enlivening touches, the conversation was like to suffer another long interruption, when the lieutenant, unwilling to conceal any of his accomplishments that could be displayed in his present situation, offered to regale the company with a song; and, interpreting our silence into a desire of hearing, began to warble a fashionable air the first stanza of which he pronounced thus: "Would you task the moon-tide hair, To yon flagrant beau repair.
Where waving with the poplin vow, The bantling fine will shelter you," etc.
The sense of the rest he perverted as he went on with such surprising facility that I could not help thinking he had been at some pains to burlesque the performance.