Alas for him! if he should happen to be anything of a droll; for in an evil hour should he perpetrate a joke, he would never know the last of it.
The witticisms of others, however, upon himself, must be received in the greatest good-humour.
Woe be unto him, if at meal-times he so much as look sideways at the beef-kid before the rest are helped.
Then he is obliged to plead guilty to every piece of mischief which the real perpetrator refuses to acknowledge; thus taking the place of that sneaking rascal nobody, ashore.

In short, there is no end to his tribulations.
The land-lubber's spirits often sink, and the first result of his being moody and miserable is naturally enough an utter neglect of his toilet.
The sailors perhaps ought to make allowances; but heartless as they are, they do not.

No sooner is his cleanliness questioned than they rise upon him like a mob of the Middle Ages upon a Jew; drag him into the lee-scuppers, and strip him to the buff.

In vain he bawls for mercy; in vain calls upon the captain to save him.
Alas! I say again, for the land-lubber at sea.

He is the veriest wretch the watery world over.