[Arcadian Adventures with the Idle Rich by Stephen Leacock]@TWC D-Link book
Arcadian Adventures with the Idle Rich

CHAPTER SEVEN: The Ministrations of the Rev
6/44

Such power in his face! Mr.Boulder introduced him to me on the avenue, and he hardly seemed to see me at all, simply scowled! I was never so favourably impressed with any man." On his very first Sunday he preached to his congregation on eternal punishment, leaning forward in his black gown and shaking his fist at them.

Dr.McTeague had never shaken his fist in thirty years, and as for the Rev.Fareforth Furlong, he was incapable of it.
But the Rev.Uttermust Dumfarthing told his congregation that he was convinced that at least seventy per cent of them were destined for eternal punishment; and he didn't call it by that name, but labelled it simply and forcibly "hell." The word had not been heard in any church in the better part of the City for a generation.

The congregation was so swelled next Sunday that the minister raised the percentage to eighty-five, and everybody went away delighted.

Young and old flocked to St.Osoph's.

Before a month had passed the congregation at the evening service at St.Asaph's Church was so slender that the offertory, as Mr.Furlong senior himself calculated, was scarcely sufficient to pay the overhead charge of collecting it.
The presence of so many young men sitting in serried files close to the front was the only feature of his congregation that extorted from the Rev.Mr.Dumfarthing something like approval.
"It is a joy to me to see," he remarked to several of his trustees, "that there are in the City so many godly young men, whatever the elders may be." But there may have been a secondary cause at work, for among the godly young men of Plutoria Avenue the topic of conversation had not been, "Have you heard the new presbyterian minister ?" but, "Have you seen his daughter?
You haven't?
Well, say!" For it turned out that the "child" of Dr.Uttermust Dumfarthing, so-called by the trustees, was the kind of child that wears a little round hat, straight from Paris, with an upright feather in it, and a silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin.


<<Back  Index  Next>>

D-Link book Top

TWC mobile books