It seemed to him a bitter humiliation and an anguish to go through.

But he said nothing.

When he got up in the morning, his whole being was knotted up over this one thought: "I've got to go and look for advertisements for a job." It stood in front of the morning, that thought, killing all joy and even life, for him.

His heart felt like a tight knot.
And then, at ten o'clock, he set off.

He was supposed to be a queer, quiet child.