On his decease, I was obliged to occupy his place, for which I had as little inclination as abilities, and therefore filled it ill.
I was not sufficiently careful, and so very timid, that though I frequently found fault to myself, I saw ill-management without taking courage to oppose it; besides, though I acquired an equal share of respect, I had not the same authority.

I saw the disorder that prevailed, trembled at it, sometimes complained, but was never attended to.

I was too young and lively to have any pretensions to the exercise of reason, and when I would have acted the reformer, Madam de Warrens calling me her little Mentor, with two or three playful slaps on the cheek, reduced me to my natural thoughtlessness.

Notwithstanding, an idea of the certain distress in which her ill-regulated expenses, sooner or later, must necessarily plunge her, made a stronger impression on me since I had become the inspector of her household, and had a better opportunity of calculating the inequality that subsisted between her income and her expenses.

I even date from this period the beginning of that inclination to avarice which I have ever since been sensible of.
I was never foolishly prodigal, except by intervals; but till then I was never concerned whether I had much or little money.