Through the distorting medium of such sufferings as I have described, women and men--even young women--were repellent to me alike.
Ungratefully impatient of the admiration excited by my personal advantages, savagely irritated by tender looks and flattering compliments, I only consented take lodgings, on condition that there should be no young women living under the same roof with me.

If this confession of morbid feeling looks like vanity, I can only say that appearances lie.

I write in sober sadness; determined to present my character, with photographic accuracy, as a true likeness.
"What were my habits in solitude?
How did I get through the weary and wakeful hours of the day?
"Living by myself, I became (as I have already acknowledged) important to myself--and, as a necessary consequence, I enjoyed registering my own daily doings.

Let passages copied from my journal reveal how I got through the day." IX EXTRACTS FROM A DEAF MAN'S DIARY "Monday .-- Six weeks today since I first occupied my present retreat.
"My landlord and landlady are two hideous old people.

They look as if they disliked me, on the rare occasions when we meet.