The main impulse of his life at this time was his self-distrust.

He fancied that by returning home he might regain confidence.

He longed to rid himself of the conviction that he was "set aside" by some fate or other, call it God or not as you please.

He thought that he hurt all those whom he loved when his only longing was to do them good.

He used suddenly to leave his friends because he thought that he was doing them harm.