An experienced alcoholic would have told him that he enjoyed a coffee "hang-over." He wended a lordly way to the nearest motion-picture theatre.
Billed there was the tenth installment of The Hazards of Hortense.

He passed before the lively portrayal in colours of Hortense driving a motor car off an open drawbridge.

The car was already halfway between the bridge and the water beneath.

He sneered openly at the announcement: "Beulah Baxter in the Sensational Surprise Picture of the Century." A surprise picture indeed, if those now entering the theatre could be told what he knew about it! He considered spreading the news, but decided to retain the superiority his secret knowledge gave him.
Inside the theatre, eating diligently from his box of candy, he was compelled to endure another of the unspeakable Buckeye comedies.
The cross-eyed man was a lifeguard at a beach and there were social entanglements involving a bearded father, his daughter in an inconsiderable bathing suit, a confirmed dipsomaniac, two social derelicts who had to live by their wits, and a dozen young girls also arrayed in inconsiderable bathing suits.

He could scarcely follow the chain of events, so illogical were they, and indeed made little effort to do so.