Let's suppose that once on a time--that's the way they always begin--once on a time there was a great man, great in his own country, who was sent abroad by his people to represent them among the rulers of the land.

So, in order to typically represent them, he dressed in glad and expensive raiment, went about in dignity, and--" "And whiskers.

Don't leave out the whiskers!" "All right--and whiskers.

And it came to pass that the people whom he represented wished to--to--er--bring about a certain needed improvement in their--their beautiful and enterprising community." "Sho! sho! how natural that sounds! You must be a mind reader." "No.

But I have to make speeches in my own community occasionally.
Well, the people asked their great man to get the money needed for this improvement from the rulers of the land aforementioned.